Wednesday, March 31, 2010

My Mom Responds…

Mom wrote me an email fixing my factual errors. I post that letter here, unchanged. Unchanged because, well, it’s sweet and dear and perfect. 

 

Son;

You did remarkably well with only a few errors which were just out of order chronologically  (big word for me to spell with out a dictionary)  I was born in hospital in Nyssa, Oregon but went home to a tent house and traveled to Newberg when about 6 months old, and lived in a 1 room cabin across  the driveway from my Grandparents Searles ( my father's parents) .  Aunt Dee was born 1 year after me and we all 4 lived in that 1 room shack.  When my Dad came back from the Navy on a medical discharge, he tried farming, worked for the city of Newberg, and sold insurance for State Farm Mutual, and then went to work for the Post Office.  Your father and I were married an he left for Japan one month later and came back 18 months later, then we went to Quantico Marine Base in Virginia for 15 months.

The young man in the butcher shop at Naps and I had a crush on each other, however we were both recovering from bad marriages and we never fully reached out to each other.

You were 5 years old when Dad and I married....and Paula was born 1 year and 1 month later.

You did a good job with the information you had....I got a chuckle from it.   I LOVE you.  Mom

This Space Intentionally Left Blank

It’s an old cliche from technical writing:  that page left as whitespace in a manual, except for this text in the upper third, centered:

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The last two weeks in the blog have been similar. Blank. Not so much by intent, as much by schedule. A lot has happened. And a lot that is good news. But I’ve not been in a position to slow down and write about it.

We’re not going dark. We’re just really, really busy right now! And we’ll write about it some … as time allows.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Mom Turns 70 Today

I don’t know if she’ll like this post or not, but 70 years old is a darned mighty milestone, and worth celebrating. Especially when you’re going strong like she is.

So, here’s the story as I know it. She’ll help me correct this, undoubtedly! I’ll make sure to republish with corrections as she sees fit.

My Mom was born on the Ides of March, 1940. It was a turbulent time. The US was clawing its way out of the Great Depression. That same month, Mussolini joined Hitler in Germany’s war against France and Britain. Finland surrendered to Russia. Himmler ordered the construction of the infamous Auwschitz concentration camp in the same year my mother was born. 

In Oklahoma, Chuck Norris was a five day old baby boy on the day my mother was born. Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi and Congressman Barney Frank were both born later that same month.

As if representative of the time, my mom was born in a tent, in Nyssa, Oregon, as my displaced elders waited out the end of winter to start working in the fields come spring. They’d lost the farms in the area around Lincoln, Nebraska, and were working their way west to northern Oregon. Some of my family members had already settled in Newberg; everyone else was working their way west.

By the time my mom was two or so, the family had settled in Newberg and gotten to work. It was The Wartime, afterall. America was in an all-hands battle to stave of near certain annihilation. Many of the men in the family went off to fight. My mom’s father, included.  And when he returned, he took a job with the US Postal Service. My mom was the eldest of four: three girls and one boy. On the event of my Mom’s 70th, only her brother, Austin Jr, has passed away. The three sisters are all still healthy and vibrant.

My mom grew up in Newberg. The family lived in a number of houses around town. She was a girl scout. In 1945, she witnessed the wide-reaching devastation of the third Tillamook Burn (and arguably the best known of the series of blazes that comprise the Tillamook Burn complex). She sometimes tells stories of the red skies, and black soot raining down over Newberg, miles away from the fire site.

In those days, Newberg was an agricultural community. There was a paper mill, and the logging in the Coastal range brought log trucks in for a daily parade, through town, to the mill.

For me, in 1966 or so, when mom was 26 years old, I can still remember the log trucks rolling through Newberg – carrying logs so large that only two or three fit on the truck.

Mom met a boy in high school. His name was Grant, and he joined the Marines. Mom married him and moved back to Virginia to be with him until his training as a nuclear weapons specialist got him assigned overseas to Japan. Grant was my biological father. He was generally a troubled soul, and didn’t live to see 60.  My mom and my father separated  just after my birth. My mom was a working single mother during the 1960’s, in a small agricultural town. This must not have been a good time.

But I remember it just fine. We’d go shopping at the local grocery store, called Nap’s. It’s still there, by the way, some 50 years later. I have clear memories of the youngish butcher regularly giving me a treat of  a raw pork weiner  at Nap’s every time we went into the store. I’d sit in the cart and gnaw on that uncooked hot dog sausage all throughout the shopping trip.  Imagine doing that today~ major health safety issues, that. I’ve never asked her, but I think that butcher thought my mom was cute…

It was about this time that my mom contracted Scarlet Fever, a severe form of strep throat. Severe enough to hospitalize her, and to leave her with scar tissue on her heart valves. For as long as I can remember, she’s taken a daily penicillin to prevent any re-infections. The scar tissue, however, has been an issue in later life. Mom takes a series of heart-related medications and attends exercise classes to maintain as much heart health as possible.

In about 1966 or so, Mom met another guy. She married him just as I was turning 5 years old. His name is Jerry, and 42 or so years later, they’re still married. They had one child together, my sis, Paula. And raised us as a nuclear family, in Hillsboro, Oregon.

Mom stopped working at Tektronix when my sister was born. Mom stayed home, and took care of other children in the house for additional income while we kids were in school.

About 1980 or so, Mom and Dad bought a small place in Pacific City, Oregon. They almost moved there full-time right away. By this time, Dad was working at the Tektronix/Merix plant in Forest Grove, and could just as easily commute from the beach as anywhere. But, for the sake of the school system, they stayed put. My sister and I graduated from Hillsboro High School in 1981 and 1988, respectively.

Once my sister was out of high school, Mom went back to work. This time, she took a job in the cafeteria at Sunset High School as a baker. She kept this job until about the same time Jerry retired from Merix. True to their retirement plan since 1980, they systematically moved from Hillsboro to the house in Pacific City, where they’ve lived full time for over fifteen years.

Mom quilts. She dotes on her two grand children (my two kids). She dotes on her husband. She was born in a tent to landless farmers surviving as crophands, and today she uses the internet and a computer to communicate to the whole world.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Ballet Date Night

Well, we went on a date to the ballet Saturday night. Oregon Ballet Theater’s Midsummer Night’s Dream, to be exact. Actually, there were two pieces in the program. I’ll start with the other piece.

First was an interpretation of the Four Humors. You know them from your Shakespeare:  Choleric, Melancholy, Phlegmatic, Sanguine.

See, I hadn’t read the program yet when the curtain came up for the first program. I just watched, completely unaware of the intent of the piece. I was most captivated by the dance and choreography in the first vignette. The other three vignettes were delightful, but I connected most deeply to the first.

During intermission, while we stretched our legs in the lobby, C asked me my thoughts on the first piece. I shared my preference for the initial vignette. That’s when C brought out her program and we looked at the notes. Only then did I realize the ‘Four Humors’ thing.

Care to guess which humor was first? Melancholy. Yep!
To know me is to love me.

image Midsummer Night’s Dream was a narrative style ballet. Know how Nutcracker tells a story with dance interspersed with miming? Same here. The dancers act. The actors danced. Set changes move the story along. It takes about 40 minutes I guess for Midsummer Night’s Dream, in one single act.

The dance was wonderful. The principal dancers were amazing. About 14 or so dancers are children from SOBT. C whispered in my ear that they’re all Level 2 students. My lovely daughter? She’s Level 1. 

It was a great show. On that particular evening, I cannot say that the ballet touched my heart, but I could admire the effort and the skill involved. Whether the ballet touched my heart, I think, had more to do with my emotional condition as an audience member than it did with the magic of the dance or the efforts of the dancers. They did amazing work; I got out of it only as much as I was able to receive that evening. And that’s okay.

C and I had a date, though. That was a victory right there. I have to admit that our family life is wound so tightly that time alone is hard to come by. We almost didn’t know how to treat each other, out together, alone, without an entourage to herd. It was a working session for us. We had a date, but we also constructively and respectfully discussed some relationship dynamics throughout the family that have blocked our own relationship. It was a hard talk to have, but we did it. It wasn’t a fight, or an argument; more like a very serious Bahai consultation ongoing between events of the evening.  And, in the process, by the end of the evening, we  relocated our common ground.