Intermission -- let's all go to the lobby....

I've said enough here for now. Once upon a time, this was an effective way to communicate outbound with my circle of people about my family. It grew out of an email newsletter I used as a way to keep everyone updated on C's cancer battle. It continued into a phase where the family worked to rebuild, recover and find a new normal.  Inbound communication *from* my people, however? Not so much.

In the past year, there has been, it seems, increasingly less to say here. Not that there's been less going on, but that the blog format just didn't seem as relevant any longer. This has been like an open diary. I'm not feeling like I'm in a place to do that right now.

So, I'm going to take a break from this. I won't shut down the blog. As an online multimedia paper trail for a crucial period in our lives, this blog is still relevant. But if you're reading, do expect me to be quiet here for some time. My guess is that very few people are still engaged with me here at all, making this an exercise in self-indulgence. Right now, I have more important issues to resolve. Respectfully.

Connect with me on FaceBook in the meantime.  I expect that my FaceBook activity will likewise change for a while, but I will continue a presence there during the intermission.

I guess that's an appropriate metaphor -- where as this online journal has been the theater of my life, FaceBook has been the lobby - close to the action but separated, and filled with a lot more chatter.

So, yes. See you in the lobby for a while...

Trying to Hunker Down

The family’s working to hold a rhythm…and strengthen it.

Over the summer, we did a LOT of Hot Air Ballooning related stuff. Then, in the past few weeks, we’ve been working on the Stark house to prepare it for sale. All this is good, but we have a behavior pattern that has kept us out of the house most of every day, seven days a week. That’s starting to change a little. Here’s what’s up:

C:

• Working on her health and fitness. She’s been exercising and walking. Lots of walking. Daily. She’s constantly pushing her body up to her anaerobic threshold, and striving not to cross over. She has made it her mission.
• Actively changing her diet. This continues as well. She has support in the family.
• Practicing an “I can do it myself” attitude every day. C has told me that she’ll set up her own cell phone for email access, and connection to her bluetooth hands-free devices. While these tasks are well inside my strengths, I don’t necessarily help her build her own skills if I just do it all for her. So I’m willing to back off. Others build their skills through necessity and practice. That’s how I built mine.
• Because Moms need day’s off too, we’re trying to give C a change of pace at some point in the weekend…something she can point to as a ‘day off’ or a ‘break’ from the monotony. I get it.

R:

• We talk time management every day. Not a lecture or a scolding, but we sit down with R’s school planner and his homework assignments, and we discuss how to manage time to achieve goals. For R, it takes this kind of daily attention. BUT, what’s gratifying is that his results are much, much better when we do take the time. AND, the proactive time costs me less emotional energy than the crisis management that happens the other way ‘round. R is learning there’s another way to do things than the crisis management method.
• Boy Scouts and Fencing continue. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings. We try to set our clocks by those events. R is stepping up his activity within the troop. Now that he’s almost a Star Scout, and he’s learning to manage his own calendar, he’s showing up for the optional things like Eagle Service Projects, and earning his stripes as a troop leader, not just a junior-level kid in the troop.

M:

• Ballet and ballet rehearsals. Three days a week – Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.  M is in the same class as last year, and is rehearsing for the same part in The Nutcracker as last year. Because she’s done this before, and is concentrating on mastery/perfection instead of learning it all for the first time, she seems much less stressed than before.
• Because homework is rarely an issue for M, she gets more time to ‘chill’ and play. She did a lot of that this weekend, spending social time with D and her dear old Dad. She went shopping with D and C on Saturday.

N:

• With the turn back inside for winter, I’m organizing a little. Stepping in to domestic duties on weekends as well. This weekend, I cooked dinner on both Saturday and Sunday, put down the primer coat of paint in the powder bath, and had a chance to follow the OSU football game on the radio. It was actually quite relaxing. In return, C got a day off on Sunday to ‘check out;’, and spend the day doing a complete wardrobe audit in her closet.
• I’m cooking a bit more. First, I enjoy it. Second, I get to change up the menu a little. Third, I get to show support for C’s vegetarianism by showing I cook appropriately for her without being reminded.  Mid afternoon on Sunday, C had worked hard on her closet until she ‘bonked.’ She hadn’t eaten, and had neglected to take her meds. She asked me to cook some white fish for her. I countered that getting the fish thawed, then cooked, would take a long time and that I could make her egg white huevos rancheros in five minutes or less. She looked at me dubiously, but when I made good on my promise and delivered her a plate of steaming huevos, she was grateful.
• As for me, I’m working on locking onto my respectful treatment of others. Regardless of what happens, I have to hold on to that as inviolable. I’ve not been very good at doing that in recent months. I’m making that my rhythm – respect and compassion.

D:

• Our long-term exchange student, D is from Taiwan. He tested right out of the PIA English preparation courses, and immediately started attending classes at Marylhurst.
• D is finding his rhythm as a college student, attending class on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, mostly in the evening. He has four days off each week. This allows him to get his studies done, and also keeps him around the house a lot.

Teddy and Cats:

• They’re learning to get along. Teddy doesn’t chase the cats; he greets Shadow with a nose-kisss in the morning. Sam’s slower to adapt, he doesn’t like the dog in the same room, but no longer freaks out.
• Teddy is learning to follow commands from everyone in the family.
• Teddy has transitioned to sleeping with Ryne… though some nights Teddy is just too rambunctious at bed time for this to be possible. Most nights, though…

We’re looking for a rhythm…I’m thinking I want to just settle into a six week rut, up to the holidays, then settle into a six week rut to spring break and make the drive to Phoenix as we planned. That’s what I’m aiming for…

Hey, you know what? Teddy might just be able to make the trip to Phoenix with us. I have to think about that a bit…\

Note To Self

C has been Facebooking in recent weeks.

She’s also been working on becoming more “herself”. For her, this means:

• dietary adjustments back to vegetarianism
• adjustments to bring more exercise into her daily rhythm
• changing some of her approaches to guiding, correcting and providing feedback to the children
• a concentration on making sure she’s surrounded by respectful dynamics – to her, from her, between others near her

She’s working on her thinking. She’s working on her surroundings. I’m inspired by her work, and trying to follow suit. It isn’t always easy. That, in itself, uncovers where I need to pay attention to my own “self”.