Armed With…..

It has taken me most of this week to get unemotional enough to write this entry.

C is working quite closely with her oncologist right now, and not really in a good way. Now, I don’t want to be alarmist; I want to convey my upbeat attitude about this, but… four years after C completed breast cancer treatment, the docs are having another look. And *not* at the original site.

Now, according to the docs involved, odds are very high that we’re just talking about ‘polyps’ – just like those you hear about on the news as  elder politicians are released from Bethesda Naval Hospital after having a routine outpatient procedure to remove them. Happens  all the time. Polyps are benign and generally routine. Polyps also have an increased likelihood of occurring when you take the specific post-cancer meds that C happens to take. So, really, polyps should come as no surprise.

But… and this is where I don’t want to get alarmist – there is a small but real risk that it’s not polyps, that it’s a malignant tumor. Benign polyps are a statistical shoo-in for someone without a history of cancer; For C, though…odds of a metastatic tumor are somewhat higher. Afterall, she’s defied the odds before, and her cancer had made it into the lymphatic system back in 2005. It’s like the cold war; we’re on constant low-level alert. Then, any time any thing that ‘could be cancer’ comes up, we all go DEFCON 1 and get edgy about everything. Can’t help it – cancer cells are the enemy and they just might be rattling their sabres at us.

If, God forbid, it is malignant, then the treatment is some pretty aggressive surgical removal. Again, relatively routine abdominal surgery, but somewhat more drastic in nature. No chemo, no radiation. Just surgery, and a 98% survivability.

We’ll know the biopsy results in a bit more than one week.

So, C will likely undergo a procedure in September. Chances are, it’ll be one of those routine outpatient procedures. But… but… but…..

Many Baha’is will know this prayer. One key sentence (in italics) makes up a Baha’i song that has been used quite a bit in the Oregon community (and I suspect much more widely than just Oregon)

All praise be to Thee, O my God, for the things Thou didst ordain for me through Thy decree and by the power of Thy sovereignty. I beseech Thee that Thou wilt fortify both myself and them that love me in our love for Thee, and wilt keep us firm in Thy Cause. I swear by Thy might! O my God! Thy servant's shame is to be shut out as by a veil from Thee, and his glory is to know Thee. Armed with the power of Thy name nothing can ever hurt me, and with Thy love in my heart all the world's afflictions can in no wise alarm me.

Send down, therefore, O my Lord, upon me and upon my loved ones that which will protect us from the mischief of those that have repudiated Thy truth and disbelieved in Thy signs.

    (Baha'u'llah, Prayers and Meditations by Baha'u'llah, p. 207)

My children – unbidden by others – have been singing this prayer at all sorts of times throughout the day. They understand the uncertainty; they’re pouring into the family’s pool of energy with prayer, song, and their full, abundant hearts. For that, I am deeply grateful.

Armed with the power of Thy name nothing can ever hurt me…

Regardless of the imperfections of their parents, these two young people are emerging as wonderful, caring and world-changing individuals. I’m proud of them for the loving courage they’re bringing to this.

and with Thy love in my heart all the world's afflictions can in no wise alarm me.