R's favorite gymnastics coach, Coach D, left the WS gym a couple weeks ago. WS was real close-mouthed about his departure, even though we'd been working with them for six years and had a very close relationship with Coach D. That felt....wrong somehow. Like they were trying to scab over sore spot just as fast as possible.
Well, we picked at that sore spot. Forgive us. But it was for R's benefit.
You see, the WS Team Director and R just don't get along very well. The coach can't figure out how to relate to R, R can't figure out how to relate to the Director. They're both good at what they do, they're not a good fit for each other. It was the assistant coach, D - with whom R worked most, and best - the kept it all together for all of us.
And with him gone, it was clear that R felt unhappy about WS. His fire dimmed almost immediately.
And, truth be told, we just didn't 'click' with the parents committee. Try as we might, the communication just wasn't very effective. We were often left out of the loop. We heard similar things from the parents of R's peers in Level 4 and Level 5.
So, we started picking at the scab. It took a couple weeks of calling around. It wasn't easy - some old-fashioned gumshoe action was involved:
- We made a list of every gymnastics club in the metro area, and started calling
- Did they have a level 4 and up boy's team?
- Did they just hire Coach D?
- Did they know Coach D?
- Did they know where he went?
- We learned that, though there was a gym studio within three miles of home (a geographical winner!) they did NOT have a boy's team (loser!). BUT, they did refer us to a new gymnastics studio that just started up, and is building their boy's team right now. They wouldn't tell us names, but they were all to happy to connect us.
- It felt like that scab we were picking at had just lifted a bit. Suddenly, we felt like sharks, smelling blood. So we called; made the strike.
- It was Coach D!
- Coach D is now the program director for competitive boys gymnastics at a brand-new gym staffed (interestingly enough) with former WS staffers. The staffers, it turns out, who relate well to R.
- So the next afternoon, R paid a visit and ran through a workout with Coach D's new team.
- R discovered that virtually all of his Level 4 and Level 5 teammates had also hunted Coach D down. The entire developmental base for WS's boys team did what we did! There may be one or two level 4/5 boys still with WS, but not very many. R's workout was with all his WS peers!
- This's got to smart over at WS, as they slowly come to the realization that we all figured it out anyway!
But I don't really care about what WS feels, do I? They make their choices and I make mine. You see, ummm, R was feeling lost as a side-effect of their choice to cover up Coach D's departure. Now that we've found him, R doesn't feel lost any more. He feels better than ever about gymnastics. The new gym is exclusively gymnastics. It gives him a place with his "people" -- just his "people," no other groups to dilute the effect of being surrounded by his "people." That's where his loyalty lies.
And Coach D got the confidence boost he needed: the gift of a ready-made team of boys he's already been developing, who have love and loyalty for what he's all about as a coach. The boys bonded to each other and to the coach. The parents bonded to each other, in part because we all were feeling excluded by the WS parents committee. Not that we knew it, but we were all poised for exit, weren't we? WS's handling of the situation was the final one-finger push needed to propel us all forward and out the door.
We'll still be driving to Tigard for gymnastics, but suddenly it feels like there's a PURPOSE to it all. R feels serious, important, valuable. He now has a real sense that he has real work he can do there. He has purpose. And that's where MY loyalties lie; with my son's ultimate well-being.
What a blessing. Glad we picked at that sore spot.
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